The Protectorate of Spice Harvester 96 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its state-planned economy, enslaved workforce, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.64 billion Spice Harvester 96ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 46.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Spice Harvester 96ian economy, worth 973 trillion spices a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 112,652 spices, with the richest citizens earning 8.6 times as much as the poorest.

The youth of today are literally shaped by state ideology, Leader makes and breaks shaky peace deals in 140 characters or less, citizens are tied down and forced to watch educational videos on empathy, and an online tea-bagging epidemic is getting worse and (meta)worse. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Spice Harvester 96's national animal is the sandworm, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Spice Harvester 96 is ranked 221,924^th in the world and 1,644^th in Jihad Army of the Emperor for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -3.96 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.